Trials and the Power of Prayer

(Picture: 19 weeks)

Well I wish i could say that we have had an uneventful couple of months. Unfortunately this pregnancy has brought some very scary events along with the joy and excitement. Throughout these trials I must say that we have been so so blessed and comforted knowing that our Heavenly Father is looking out for our little boy.

It all started out with going to our big targeted ultrasound at 21 1/2 weeks(march 10th). We we so excited to get a even better look at how big our little man was growing and what he looked like. We got into the ultrasound room and the first thing the tech says when she puts it on is "So how is your cervix?". My heart sinks... I had already had fears of anything happening with my cervix shortening because my sister had lost her first babies due to incompetent cervix. ( For those of you who have no idea what that is- your cervix thins out without contractions and then you start to dialate without any signs. Usually it is too late by the time they find out from your water breaking or your baby just being born. And unfortunately it usually happens around 18-24 weeks so there isn't much of a chance of survival at that point.) Anyways turns out that my cervix was at 1.75 cm when the normal is around 4 cm. They could see quite a bit of funneling(where it is thinning out even more). So right after that we got to go talk to our Dr. who decided I needed to go see the Perinatologist(aka high risk Dr.). Set up appointment and was told to stay down.

(Picture: 21 weeks)

The next day I stayed down and later that night after Chris got home I started feeling my stomach tightening. I wasn't sure if they were contractions or not. How am I to know I've never had a baby before! So we took off for the hospital and went to Labor and Delivery. They started checking everything. They had a very strong heartbeat for our little boy and that was good, but they also found that I was having contractions every 2-3 minutes! They didn't hurt at all so most likely they were just the Braxton Hicks contractions. Even still they don't want to mess around with those with how short my cervix was, it could turn into labor really fast. So they gave me a shot and thankfully they stopped my contractions. They did an ffn test and also checked for amniotic fluid to make sure my water hadn't broken. Both came back negative-- another

blessing... I was then admitted so they could monitor me.

Chris and I got to spend our first ever night in the hospital. I think it is safe to say we both slept like crap. The next morning they wheeled me our Perinatologist appointment that was at the hospital. After meeting with him I was more confused than ever with what we should do.

Our options were:

- to just keep staying down and hope that I don't go into labor or dialate any more on my own or -get a cerclage(Where they stitch up the cervix.). They ideally would have placed this around 13-14 weeks. Doing it this far into the pregnancy and with my cervix this short gave a bigger risk of infection or them rupturing the amniotic fluid sac. And if either of those happened it was over, he would have to be delivered.

That was a long a frustrating day trying to decide what would be our best option. I received a blessing that day and the biggest thing that stuck out in my mind from is that he had said the option we should choose would be obvious. I couldn't imagine that at this point. Later that night our Dr. came to talk to us. The first thing that he said when he came in is that he thought the cerclage would be our best bet and he was ready to do it the next morning. I didn't even have to ask him. It is such a testimony builder and amazing feeling when answers to prayers come that quickly. Amazing.

(picture: hanging out on the couch at 27 weeks)

We spent our second pretty much sleepless night in the hospital. At least the beds are big enough that Chris could fit on the bed with me to snuggle me. It was so comforting to have him close. The next morning they got me prepped and ready to go. They wheeled my into a room and did the epidural(the next one I receive Chris will be there to hold my hand) and did the procedure. Longest 30 minutes of my life. I honestly was horrified. I am pretty sure it was on long constant prayer(that was the only thing I could do to keep myself calm). We made it out safely numb legs and all, they checked for contractions and there wasn't any happening. We are so blessed.

To bring you up to date- I am down. Down on bedrest... Keeping this baby boy in. I am not going to lie that the first few weeks were extremely tough. It was a huge life change to wake up each morning and not be able to get up to do pretty much anything. No where to go. Nothing but a long day of staying down worrying about every little thing i felt. I was emotionally

a mess.(I am not a crier but the tears seemed to flow at least a few times a day)

(picture: The shot Chris gives me once a week)

It is still hard, I worry about everything and some days seem like forever. These last 8 weeks have definantly been a trial, but in a way a huge blessing. I am still pregnant and our little boy is still safe inside and that alone is a miracle. I am a lot more confident now that we are past the point that if he did come his chances would be good for normal life. Once a week now I receive a progesterone shot. Lucky Chris gets to give it to me. They are to help calm my uterus and stop contractions. I still have them, usually only about one an hour. If they get more frequent I have medicine that I can take and it seems to stop them pretty quickly. One good thing about being down all day is that I get to feel him moving around so much. I don't miss a movement! And I love it. The stitch has held strong. We got it checked every week and have just barely now switched to every 2 weeks. Each appointment has been so reassuring and I just have to say that Dr. Housel is a very patient and wonderful man :)

(picture: 28 weeks outside for a second after appointment)

Things I have learned:

1.Prayer is so powerful- i knew this before but it has gotten me through this time.

2.Don't be afraid to ask for blessings- at one point I think I got a blessing a day for a few days. They were so comforting and each time brought such important guidance.

3.I don't have control over everything- there comes to a point when all you can do is put your problems into the Lords hands and trust that he has a plan. And trust me... He does...

4. My husband is amazing- I have always loved Chris. But this has brought on a whole new meaning. He has been the best. He takes such good care of both of us and has been my rock when I have been seriously emotionally unstable:)

5.Where would I be without my mom and family?- My family has seriously stepped in. At least one of them has been here pretty much every day. My mom cleans my house and makes me meals all the time. I can't imagine doing this without them.

6. I have such amazing friends- We have had so much support. From prayers being said in our part to the delicious meals that have been brought. At first I was so embarrassed to be receiving all of these meals and I still am a little, but it has been so nice and it honestly has made life so much easier.

7. Never let your faith be taken over by fear- This is easier said than done. I have had way to many mind games with being down this long. And it is so hard to not be fearful. Faith is all we have to hold on to and during our trials we need to hold onto it with all we've got!

Thanks again for all of the help and prayers that we have received. It is looking like I will start getting up a little more at the end of May. We are still praying for a full term baby and the end is looking a little closer( I am at 30 weeks now). We have a lot of cute pictures of him from our many appointments but I am not around a scanner... So some day they will get on here. Pregnancy is amazing. It is such a gift and I am not taking one day for granted.