He's here!

Tomorrow is the day!

How can you possibly put together the feelings you feel the night before you have a baby? Excited, nervous, happy, sad, in shock, worried, love. I have dreamed/planned/thought about this day for what seems like forever. Now it is here... We are scheduled to be at the hospital at 8 am. This little boy is coming out and I still can't seem to grasp that he-yes my very own little boy- will be in our arms tomorrow! I have spent so much time about making it full term with all of the scares bedrest that I haven't really let myself think much about the delivery. Oh well. I guess it is probably for the best not to be dwelling on how scary it is. I wasn't planning on getting induced but things all just worked out best for things to be done this way. Bags are packed, carseat installed, i think we are as ready as you can get. We will keep you updated and I am sure I can probably talk Chris into posting some pictures of our little guy tomorrow. Now off to try and get some sleep... Not sure if that is possible, but we'll try anyways. Out of all days I would like to have strength-tomorrow probably is at the top of that list! Maybe if we can't sleep then we can figure out a name for this little guy :)

The last LARGE BELLY pictures

Since we knew this was going to be our last day to just go do whatever we decided to get out. We woke up had some breakfast... Then decided to go to the daytime movies. We went out to eat at Boccias, went to see a daytime showing of Prince of Persia, went to the mall (and got lots of the "holy cow that girl is going to pop" looks- and had a weird lady start rubbing my belly in Bath and Body works) then headed to Walmart to get a few things. We didn't do anything to exciting. I don't think a 9 month pregnant body is up for much more then that anyways :) But it was a fun day. Fun to spend it together and to know that our little guy will be here in less than 24 hours! So nervous to see how tomorrow goes. As incredible as pregnancy is, my body is tired... My back is pretty sore and I get worn out sooo easily. And I just can't wait to meet our little boy. It will be interesting to see how this little guy can make it out.

These pictures were taken the night before we are getting induced! (july 9th) Yes i realize I am huge... I was doing pretty good with the whole water weight thing till these last couple of weeks and now it seems to be piling on!

Light at the end of the tunnel

I am almost there.... So close.... Saturday morning Chris gave me my last progesterone shot. My date for my stitch to be removed is on the 23 rd! 12:00!!! I can't hardly wait... That is only 1 whole day away. I have this feeling of a huge weight being lifted from me. I have beaten the odds and feel like I have conquered a huge trial. And in turn I am hoping for a healthy baby. At least I know that I have done everything that I could possibly do to get to that goal. I have almost made it to full term. Honestly when the stitch was put in I felt like my chances were not really great that I would ever make it long enough for our little boy to come healthy. I pictured me and our little boy having to spend a long time in the NICU but here I am almost full term. Best feeling ever! I am slowly feeling like myself again. I got my toes all glittery and cute, my hair cut, and best of all I have started preparing for our little man. In the last few days I have made a couple of shopping trips. Short ones but I am out in public again. It is weird. I am not use to people looking at me like holy crap she is going to pop :) I went into Target with my Mom and it made me realize really how weak I am. After not even a normal amount of time shopping I was so tired. My back and my legs ached so bad. I am not sure if it is from being on bed rest or from the fact that the last time I was out doing these things I was 20 lbs lighter! Either way I better get building some strength before our little guy decides to come. Today I made our bed for the first time since I can remember. I picked up a little in the babies room and cleaned my bathroom a bit. Keep in mind my stitch is still in and I am still taking it pretty easy cause I really don't want something to happen now that I am so close to it being out. So that seemed like a lot :) Plus my doctor is out of town till this Monday. So he said to hold tight till then cause he is done vacationing after this weekend till past my due date! Wonderful news... I am so excited to see what happens when the stitch comes. We'll see if I dilate some right away, or if my contractions will pick up quickly. I am just can't wait for it to be OK if my water breaks or I start having contractions close together. For the last 4 months I have been terrified of these things happening and after Wednesday it will be exciting!. Not to mention that after the removal my driving privileges will be back! I am feeling good. It felt so good to get out with Chris. Even if it was just to babies R us. It made me feel so normal. Back to having a life. And that is a great feeling to have after how the last months have been. I will keep you posted of how things go after the removal. Who knows I could have my baby in a 3 days if he comes fast after the stitch is gone. Or at the very longest (if I made it to my due date) 3 weeks away! I don't mind either way... He can come when he is ready.

Well my 14 weeks of bed rest is over.... Goodbye bed rest, I will not miss you at all. No matter how exhausting a newborn is.

(34 weeks)

Progress on the Nursery

Well after spending many hours on bed rest searching for a bed set and decorations that I wanted for the nursery I finally decided on it. I got it all ordered and they got here just in time for my sister to come into town to help set it all up! Before Ana was born I went out to help her set up things so she returned the favor and it was alot of fun to have them in town for a while. Excuse the no makeup look. When staying down for so long you kinda stop caring :)

Thanks Amanda and Ana for all of your help!

Chris was such a good sport and let me boss him around of where to put what. He did all the painting in one day so it would have plenty of time to dry before it was time to put up the decals on the wall. And he and my mom had to clean up that whole room before we did anything. There was a lot of boxes and crap that we just threw in there when we moved in. It is so fun to feel like it is a real room now. Not just junk. I love to just look in there when I walk past. I can't believe it will by my babies room. So fun. Our cat Parker likes it too. He thinks it is great to have another room to run around in!

The room still isn't finished so I will post real pictures soon...

Aaron's Graduation!

I can't even believe that my little brother could be old enough to graduate high school! I'm so proud of him. Not only did he graduate but pulled off an accumulative GPA of 4.0. He also got his 4 yr graduate diploma from seminary. Way to go buddy! Sadly I wasn't able to make it to the actual graduation because of bed rest. I did go to Aaron's seminary graduation so that made me feel a bit better about missing the Weber high one. But I did brave out going to dinner later that day. This is honestly my first outing in a little over 2 months. I was starting to feel a little more confident about getting up a little since I had made it to 32 weeks! Anyone who was worried about premature birth knows that is a really big milestone! It felt nice to get out but mostly I was just freaked out that something bad was going to happen. Not to mention that my poor body was pretty uncomfortable sitting on hard chairs and walking around made my legs pretty shaky. Chris was a sweetie and let me sit on his jacket and that seemed to help pad the chair enough to make it through dinner. But it was fun to get out and celebrate with the family.

I didn't think Chris was really taking my picture. But I just thought it was funny cause you can see my big round belly :)

After dinner we decided to stick around for a little bit and take some pictures around the trains. Almost 33 weeks and Chris can still fit his arms around this big belly... That makes me happy.

My whole family.. Except Amanda's husband Sean that wasn't about to make the trip.

The Graduate!

I couldn't help but post a few pictures of these cuties. Chris had some fun with his camera taking pictures of my niece, Ana, and my cousins little boy Logan. Aren't they adorable!?

"Hugs"

My first "Expectant Mother" Mothers Day

Here is my very first Mother's Day gift! Chris got me this Willow Tree. It is called "New Life". I love it. I had a really great day. Considering that I was down either on the couch or on my bed pretty much the entire day :) I got my breakfast in bed made by Chris. And then he spent the entire day with me... It was perfect hanging out on the couch with Chris and feeling my son moving all around in me. So I finally got a little brave and went to my family get together at my Aunts house in north Ogden. It is about a 5 minute drive and then they were nice enough to let me just lay on their couch the entire night. It felt so good to get out and to see my aunts, cousins, grandma etc.. We are all so close and it has been sad missing out on all the family events for the last few months. Probably the dang pregnancy hormones but I had to fight back tears just getting to hug my grandma again.
I don't think I can even start to tell everyone how amazing my mom is. She has truly been my best friend all through my life. She is the perfect example to me of how I want to be with my kids and raising my own family. I am so grateful that we live so close to our families and so happy that my mom will be with me to help me raise my family. I am starting to feel some emotions that I didn't know existed for my little boy already and it honestly brings such a different view of my mom to me. She has always been there for all my big and little things in life and now with this last trial of being on bed rest she has been right here. Spending so much of her time doing more than enough to make sure I am taken care of. Whether it be her constantly cleaning my house for me, or doing all my grocery shopping, making endless meals for me or emotionally supporting me while I am horrified of the future and need to talk it out, she has been there. I love you Mom. I don't know how I could ever show you how much. Or how much I appreciate you.

I can't wait to be a new mom this year. I am sure that it will be an interesting trip but well worth it. I've got a lot to learn. That is what I have always wanted to be "when I grow up" is a mom and I still can't believe my dream is coming true. I love you little boy in me(I wish I had a name but we are to indecisive) and I am so very excited to meet you. I hope I can be the Mom you deserve.

My mom, Grandma, Aunt Becky

Our 4 year Anniversary

I have been so so slow at posting this... Back on April 22nd we had our Anniversary. I can't believe another year has passed. How on earth has it already been 4 years? Well we didn't get to go do much for our anniversary this year... I didn't even get to see the outdoors :) Chris took a couple days off so we got to spend some quality time on the couch to celebrate! He got up and made me some breakfast in bed. Which he is getting extremely good at. He has gotten lots of practice over the last few months.. Before I got put down we had thought of going somewhere not to far away like Vegas, St George, or Park City for a few days. But we would much rather be in the situation we are now and still have our little man healthy and strong. There is always next year! I did go outside the Sunday before our Anniversary for just a few minutes so we could get some pictures. Chris just got a new camera for his birthday so it was fun to play around with it. These are just a few of the cute pictures we got that day. I thought they turned out cute. For some reason it still shocks me when I see pictures of myself with a huge belly. I forget that I look that big I guess :)

This year of our marriage has been an interesting/wonderful one. Full of surprises, hard work and crazy times:

- Chris graduated with his bachelors degree from Weber State!

- We worked like crazies on our house. So many hours of hard work.... Mostly for Chris, but I had my fair share. We learned things that I never thought I would learn. Chris has definitely turned into quite the handy man! From electric to plumbing, Sheetrock and mud and taping, and refinishing hardwood floors and tiling it has been an huge learning experience. Although it was hard to not just wish it was over, it was fun to do it all together. Spending countless nights up here till 2 or 3 at night. I have always known Chris was a hard worker but he proved it to me all over again!

- Chris got promoted to be the Assistant Manager back at the Clinton store.

- We got to spend sometime doing some wonderful fertility visits. (Which worked out well :) )

- We got pregnant! And found out that we would be having a little boy in July!

- I had my first visit to the ER at 2 in the morning. I spent a month hurting pretty bad from a cyst. Chris took such good care of me...

- We moved into our house after about a year of owning it! Our hard work finally paid off!

- We had our first stay in the hospital praying to keep our little man in and growing strong. Only 2 nights there but they seemed like forever...

- Probably one of our biggest trials yet. Me being down on bedrest for so long. Chris has been so patient.

That is just to mention a few that I first thought of. We have had an eventful 4th year together. Some of the moments were the best we have had and will be forever. Some were probably the scariest this far. But I have come to realize even more that no matter what comes we have each other. And we continue to grow closer and more in love with each day. Good or bad- Happy or sad. We have been so blessed with such great lives and so blessed to have each other to spend it with. I can't imagine living life with someone else... Thank goodness we have eternity to enjoy :)

Chris's Birthday

It's official... Chris had another birthday. The big 27! Sadly we didn't get to do anything to exciting. We have bedrest to thank for that :) But hey I was at 27 weeks pregnant for his 27th birthday! What are the odds of that :) He didn't have to work that day so get got up and made a yummy breakfast for us(sounds a little backwards right? I wish I could have gotten up and done special things for him) and then we hung out on the couch for the majority of the day. We got take out from Texas Roadhouse and then topped it off with Key lime pie. It was a fun day for me to have him home, but a little sad since usually for his birthday we have been out somewhere fun because it is so close to our anniversary. This year Chris got a new camera. It is really nice and he has had a lot of fun with it. He is practicing up with it so we can get some good shots of our little boy when he comes.

Don't you love this picture... He poses so nicely sometimes...

Trials and the Power of Prayer

(Picture: 19 weeks)

Well I wish i could say that we have had an uneventful couple of months. Unfortunately this pregnancy has brought some very scary events along with the joy and excitement. Throughout these trials I must say that we have been so so blessed and comforted knowing that our Heavenly Father is looking out for our little boy.

It all started out with going to our big targeted ultrasound at 21 1/2 weeks(march 10th). We we so excited to get a even better look at how big our little man was growing and what he looked like. We got into the ultrasound room and the first thing the tech says when she puts it on is "So how is your cervix?". My heart sinks... I had already had fears of anything happening with my cervix shortening because my sister had lost her first babies due to incompetent cervix. ( For those of you who have no idea what that is- your cervix thins out without contractions and then you start to dialate without any signs. Usually it is too late by the time they find out from your water breaking or your baby just being born. And unfortunately it usually happens around 18-24 weeks so there isn't much of a chance of survival at that point.) Anyways turns out that my cervix was at 1.75 cm when the normal is around 4 cm. They could see quite a bit of funneling(where it is thinning out even more). So right after that we got to go talk to our Dr. who decided I needed to go see the Perinatologist(aka high risk Dr.). Set up appointment and was told to stay down.

(Picture: 21 weeks)

The next day I stayed down and later that night after Chris got home I started feeling my stomach tightening. I wasn't sure if they were contractions or not. How am I to know I've never had a baby before! So we took off for the hospital and went to Labor and Delivery. They started checking everything. They had a very strong heartbeat for our little boy and that was good, but they also found that I was having contractions every 2-3 minutes! They didn't hurt at all so most likely they were just the Braxton Hicks contractions. Even still they don't want to mess around with those with how short my cervix was, it could turn into labor really fast. So they gave me a shot and thankfully they stopped my contractions. They did an ffn test and also checked for amniotic fluid to make sure my water hadn't broken. Both came back negative-- another

blessing... I was then admitted so they could monitor me.

Chris and I got to spend our first ever night in the hospital. I think it is safe to say we both slept like crap. The next morning they wheeled me our Perinatologist appointment that was at the hospital. After meeting with him I was more confused than ever with what we should do.

Our options were:

- to just keep staying down and hope that I don't go into labor or dialate any more on my own or -get a cerclage(Where they stitch up the cervix.). They ideally would have placed this around 13-14 weeks. Doing it this far into the pregnancy and with my cervix this short gave a bigger risk of infection or them rupturing the amniotic fluid sac. And if either of those happened it was over, he would have to be delivered.

That was a long a frustrating day trying to decide what would be our best option. I received a blessing that day and the biggest thing that stuck out in my mind from is that he had said the option we should choose would be obvious. I couldn't imagine that at this point. Later that night our Dr. came to talk to us. The first thing that he said when he came in is that he thought the cerclage would be our best bet and he was ready to do it the next morning. I didn't even have to ask him. It is such a testimony builder and amazing feeling when answers to prayers come that quickly. Amazing.

(picture: hanging out on the couch at 27 weeks)

We spent our second pretty much sleepless night in the hospital. At least the beds are big enough that Chris could fit on the bed with me to snuggle me. It was so comforting to have him close. The next morning they got me prepped and ready to go. They wheeled my into a room and did the epidural(the next one I receive Chris will be there to hold my hand) and did the procedure. Longest 30 minutes of my life. I honestly was horrified. I am pretty sure it was on long constant prayer(that was the only thing I could do to keep myself calm). We made it out safely numb legs and all, they checked for contractions and there wasn't any happening. We are so blessed.

To bring you up to date- I am down. Down on bedrest... Keeping this baby boy in. I am not going to lie that the first few weeks were extremely tough. It was a huge life change to wake up each morning and not be able to get up to do pretty much anything. No where to go. Nothing but a long day of staying down worrying about every little thing i felt. I was emotionally

a mess.(I am not a crier but the tears seemed to flow at least a few times a day)

(picture: The shot Chris gives me once a week)

It is still hard, I worry about everything and some days seem like forever. These last 8 weeks have definantly been a trial, but in a way a huge blessing. I am still pregnant and our little boy is still safe inside and that alone is a miracle. I am a lot more confident now that we are past the point that if he did come his chances would be good for normal life. Once a week now I receive a progesterone shot. Lucky Chris gets to give it to me. They are to help calm my uterus and stop contractions. I still have them, usually only about one an hour. If they get more frequent I have medicine that I can take and it seems to stop them pretty quickly. One good thing about being down all day is that I get to feel him moving around so much. I don't miss a movement! And I love it. The stitch has held strong. We got it checked every week and have just barely now switched to every 2 weeks. Each appointment has been so reassuring and I just have to say that Dr. Housel is a very patient and wonderful man :)

(picture: 28 weeks outside for a second after appointment)

Things I have learned:

1.Prayer is so powerful- i knew this before but it has gotten me through this time.

2.Don't be afraid to ask for blessings- at one point I think I got a blessing a day for a few days. They were so comforting and each time brought such important guidance.

3.I don't have control over everything- there comes to a point when all you can do is put your problems into the Lords hands and trust that he has a plan. And trust me... He does...

4. My husband is amazing- I have always loved Chris. But this has brought on a whole new meaning. He has been the best. He takes such good care of both of us and has been my rock when I have been seriously emotionally unstable:)

5.Where would I be without my mom and family?- My family has seriously stepped in. At least one of them has been here pretty much every day. My mom cleans my house and makes me meals all the time. I can't imagine doing this without them.

6. I have such amazing friends- We have had so much support. From prayers being said in our part to the delicious meals that have been brought. At first I was so embarrassed to be receiving all of these meals and I still am a little, but it has been so nice and it honestly has made life so much easier.

7. Never let your faith be taken over by fear- This is easier said than done. I have had way to many mind games with being down this long. And it is so hard to not be fearful. Faith is all we have to hold on to and during our trials we need to hold onto it with all we've got!

Thanks again for all of the help and prayers that we have received. It is looking like I will start getting up a little more at the end of May. We are still praying for a full term baby and the end is looking a little closer( I am at 30 weeks now). We have a lot of cute pictures of him from our many appointments but I am not around a scanner... So some day they will get on here. Pregnancy is amazing. It is such a gift and I am not taking one day for granted.